Author: coleen

Three Basic Talks You Should Have Before Getting Married

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Becoming engaged is a pretty big deal. Deciding to spend the rest of your lives together, maybe having a family, and sticking with each other through the most ridiculous arguments is both romantic and terrifying so it’s better to have a few of those big conversations out of the way.

If you have just gotten engaged or if you’re planning on becoming engaged, you should know about the most important topics to cover. It won’t guarantee you everlasting happiness, of course, and the talks may bring you both back down to earth a bit – that way, you won’t go into the next chapter of your life while being in the dark.

Here is a handful of things you should have had a talk or two about before putting a ring on it.

#1 Your goals: Money and career

Sadly, many of us realise while we’re in a relationship that we don’t have the same goals at all. Some of them are possible to overcome, however, and if you’re both willing to compromise, it can definitely still be worked around. Nonetheless, it is much better to know about this long before you get married.

The goals you both have in terms of money and careers should be covered first. The reasons behind it are simple; most couples end up arguing about money and personal finances above everything else, and the better you are at communicating with each other when touching this topic, the better your foundation for marriage will be.

How much do you think you should have been able to save within five years from now, for example? If you and your partner have very different goals in terms of saving, you could end up feeling either inadequate or quite frustrated.

Keep in mind that it is alright to have a different money personality than your partner, though, and even if your SO is an avid saver while you like to splurge a bit, you can still find a way to make it work without too many hiccups.

Think about how you would like to keep your personal finances as well and if they should be combined or separate. A lot of couples end up having a mix of this these days, by the way, and it’s a good middle ground to have.

No matter what you do, make sure to have this talk and be on the same page in terms of money long before you get married.

#2 Communication: How to argue

Arguments between loved ones will always happen but how you choose to handle them is up to you. Any old couple you ask for marriage advice will usually point to the same things as the most important factor: kindness and communication.

While we can all say things we shouldn’t say in the heat of the moment, it’s important to train yourself to be calm and stay non-reactive as well as non-defensive when you find yourself in the middle of a disagreement. React to the issue instead of the person, put yourself a step outside of the situation, and try to look at it logically.

It is important, however, to remember that being calm and logical when you’re emotional is quite difficult for most people. That’s why you need to take your partner’s feelings into consideration while arguing as well; if he or she is clearly emotional about something, you simply can’t expect them to be completely logical and it’s better to take a step away from the situation in order to diffuse it.

This is the basic foundation of empathy and you should hope that your partner treats you the same way if you’re emotional about something. The better you are at handling these kinds of situations long before you buy that diamond ring, the more love you’re going to preserve and grow in ten or fifty years from now rather than resentment and awful arguments.

#3 Children: To have or not to have?

As a big part of many people’s lives, having children is something you should have talked about quite early on. It doesn’t have to be a big talk with lots of plans and promises, though, as long as you have an idea of what your partner would want, in the future.

Realising that he wants a bunch of kids while you’d rather have none would, after all, be quite an obstacle in your relationship.

There is, however, much more to having children than just deciding on how many. What are their views on different parenting techniques, for example, and how will they be raised in terms of religion? What if you’re not able to conceive – is your partner open to other options such as adoption?

Plus, what do you imagine that their discipline style will be like? In order to give your child a steady and consistent upbringing, it is important that their parents agree on the basic things and work together as a team.

If your partner should communicate a much stricter discipline style than you had in mind, you need to know where the other one is standing and how you can still be united while giving your kids a great childhood.

Many couples end up struggling when they don’t lay down this fundamental foundation of marriage and you should both be in-the-know when it comes to discussions about children and parents. A lot of this will be rather clear to you if you know their family and how they were brought up, though, but it’s good to talk about it as well so that you avoid any major problems later on.

The more you’re able to talk through the difficult topics and come to an agreement, the better it will feel when the big day is approaching. Now you will both be ready to start the rest of your lives together and may, hopefully, avoid a few of these common arguments in the future.


How To Look After Your Mind, Body, And Soul For The New Year

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Life is one of those strange things that can be so amazing one minute, and so awful the next, and while it will forever be the case, there’s no point dwelling on this. There are things that are totally out of your control, and although this may cause you great frustration, especially if you’re going through something difficult – there isn’t much that you can do. So rather than spending so much valuable time on things that you have no say over, why not focus that attention on the things that you can control? Like your overall well-being and peace of mind.

So many people forget just how powerful the human body is. It’s not just about the fact that you have a beating heart and an immune system that is able to repair itself. It’s about the things you can do with it too. Like dream when you’re asleep and create a whole new reality. Like learn how to play an instrument that you’ve never touched before and make such a stunning sound from it. Like jump off a cliff in a wingsuit and literally fly like a bird. We are amazing creatures – you are an amazing creature, and it’s the little things like that that you need to remind yourself of. You’re strong, and can achieve anything that you put your mind to – it’s just about believing.

If right now you’re struggling, for whatever reason, and you’re already dreading going into a new year with a bad start. Stop. These kinds of negative thoughts aren’t going to do you any good, and if anything you will certainly ensure that it does start off bad, if not worse. So rather than just waiting for the unpleasant times to roll in – do something about it, take control of your life, your future, your destiny. Do what makes you happy, what makes you smile, and laugh, and feel on top of the world.

Go travelling

Travelling is such an incredible gift that is offered out to anyone that is willing to take it. Of course, a lot of people are nervous about their first-time going on an adventure because it can be intimidating going to a whole new country where they speak another language, eat different food, and have a completely different culture to us, and yet, that is what makes it so amazing. You realise that the world that you know, isn’t the only one that’s out there, and your mind is able to open and see things in such a different way, under such a different light. Life can get tough, especially when you’re stuck in the same environment day after day – it can become really draining and toxic, which is why people get so much out of travelling – no two days are the same. You can be going on Florence Tours learning all there is to know about the food and wine one day, and then find yourself swimming in The Great Barrier Reef with all the marine life another day.

Work out

Working out isn’t just a way of getting those #bootygoals and receiving likes on your photos from Instagram – it goes way deeper than that, and the effects that it can have on you are astounding. Of course, not to state the obvious, but the physical benefits are that you get in shape, you lose any excess weight that you didn’t want, you tone and sculpt areas of yourself, and feel stronger, healthier, and sexier. Your body will certainly thank you for the newfound activeness. But what about the mind? Well, other than the fact you’re able to have other things to focus on, and even be your much-needed distraction at times, it can also work as a form of treatment. It can keep things like depression and anxiety at bay, and allow you to have your release, but in a positive and impactful way. You can push all of your negative thoughts into a gruelling workout, sweat out all the toxins, and feel so much lighter afterwards. There is also a chemical that is released in your brain from being physically active, called endorphins, and these make you feel incredible, and better yet, you produce them yourself.

Meet people

It’s normal to feel as though the last thing that you want to do is leave the security of your own home, and try and meet new people that you don’t know. It is scary, and overwhelming, and awkward. But there’s also something very exhilarating about it too. In this modern day that we live in, you tend to only meet people over social media, and then in time that may turn into a genuine friendship, but until then, it’s just back and forth messaging and comments. While there’s nothing wrong with this, and it’s a positive within itself, you mustn’t forget about the real world, with real people – not just avatars and usernames. It’s as simple as taking a walk to your local bar or coffee shop. You would be surprised as to how many people will smile, say hello, and even spark up a conversation because you’re sitting alone. Be open to the idea of becoming a little bit of a social butterfly – you’ll have such a buzz from it afterwards, and you’ll also gain a fair bit of confidence too. And hey – maybe even some forever friends!

So now you have some ideas, stop stressing yourself out over unnecessary things that are out of your control. And instead, do what makes you happy. Regardless of how scary or difficult it may be to begin with – it will get easier. You will get more confident, and fearless, and brave. And when you become aware of that, your whole life will begin to change for the better. You are the one that can make a difference, so don’t hold yourself back any longer from the things that you deserve.

Increasing Your Self-Reliance

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There is no doubt that having a family or group of friends around you is a wonderful thing and something that you can really get strength from. But as things happen in our lives, people move on or move away; we need to look at more and more ways to become self-reliant. Knowing that you are good enough and have all that you need to help you to be complete without someone else is going to help in so many aspects of your life, from career, social situations, and your gospel study, or as stated by, it is all about doing things and making decisions by yourself. It is impossible to be 100% self-reliant, but being able to lean on yourself, rather than others, helps you and the people around you.

But on a practical level, what are some of the things that need to be done to help someone to become more self-reliant? Here are some tips that can help you to increase your self-reliance, and to make your life more enriched.

Take Responsibility

When you are looking to be more self-reliant you need to think about your actions and choice and take responsibility for those. Whether that is certain choices that you make or actions you take, you need to own those choices and be prepared to learn from them if they end up being mistakes. Your finances, for example, can be something to take responsibility for. Resisting the urge to overspend and keeping within your means is a step to being self-reliant as you’re not relying on others to help you financially. Take control and look for some of the changes that you can make in your life, for instance, reducing your spend to decrease debt but looking at sites like But as well as finances, be the person that fixes your own issues or problems, rather than turning to others to do it for you. Advice and guidance is good, but you need to be the one that makes the changes.

Learn Practical Skills

Who knows where the world is going to take us over the next couple of years or even decade. From political situations to natural disasters and climate change, we never know when we may have to stay home and not have access to stores, or even have to leave our homes, like those suffering with the devastating fires at the moment. So having some more practical skills can help you during those times and get you on the road to self-reliance. Would you know how to make bread from scratch if you had no access to stores? What about repairing a leak or care tire repair? Small things can make a big difference, and can also mean you can help others too.

Take Care of Your Body

There is no need trying to go it alone health-wise, because when you need a doctor, you need a doctor. But there are things that you can do to make sure that you are healthy and well and have less reliance on medicines and so on. Exercise, eat healthy foods, take your vitamins, and look for ways to reduce stress.